Monday, February 12, 2007

So I Was Over At Jesus's Place

I've been chatting with Jesus from time to time the last couple of weeks. Oh yeah, almost forgot, the obligatory

Free Myspace Pictures from drewpydraws

Promised Suzy I'd do that,, check her out, not bad even with the same hairdo she had when she was four.
By the way, Suzy,Courtesy of
Courtesy of
THIS is not a whale either.

So back to Jesus, during our conversation, I may have made a couple of homophobic statements, ( I am not a homophobe), I am an asshole, as he so graciously pointed out.
Anyway, I didn't notice the "Queer Friendly" site banner on his blog? It's so tiny. (like I haven't heard that before).
So I apologized for the sally comments etc. When he told me it was ok, the site was also asshole friendly!! At that, I suggested that he put a banner up, making that point clear. If queers rate a banner, us assholes ought to also.
Equal rights being what they are.

I think this whole thing got started over me pointing out what I thought was one of his better creations,, You be the judge.
Anyway, here's an excerpt from my comments,
"Jesus, Here's a picture I found,Kinda looks like heaven at first glance.
Then I looked a little closer?? She's guzzling a PBR, and got a miller in the holder??
Where I'm from, PBR= RED NECK, and Miller and it's derivatives are considered "queer", beer.
I mean that in a good way, don't want no sallys writing hate mail to my blog.
Anyway, the queer beer is a story for another time.
Upon closer review, the guy/gal? in the back right, blue shorts, gives a clue as to why the Miller might be in the holder!!Further proving that shit faced bimbos will drink most anything!!
I must admit, the beer holder is one of J's best creations. Makes one wonder why all humans didn't come equipped with one?
Please direct all hate mail to
Or leave me a comment on one of my stupid blog entry's.
See you soon S.

Well I really don't see anything wrong with this comment, but he, Jesus H. Crist being the almighty that he is, got his robe all in a knot and let me have it. ("No problem, Heywood, he calls me Heywood, I prefer Woody, this website is also asshole friendly. =))". Even put a little smiley face to make me feel a all warm and fuzzy about it.
To which I replied, "I could tell the site was asshole friendly, shit head, you haven't booted me yet!!;0)
Your going to need another banner though!!
Although I could really give a shit if I offend a bunch of assholes.
Hey instead of screwing around with this blog crap, hows about you do something ingenious,like bringing home our troops from Iraq?? Or Afghanistan!!
Just a thought.
Thank you Jesus."
Gave him the wink and smiley for the warm and fuzzy.

I'm not sure calling Jesus "shit head" was a good idea, but it got Satan to blow beer out his nose. I'd have gone to hell just to see that.

Anyway, back to the beer holder, check the picture out.. Look real close, see if you can find a sign that says Ogunquit, or South Beach, or maybe Provincetown.
My guess they are in some gay mecca similar to one of those places.

If you got a minute, stop by Jesus'sCLICK HERE.
Best not to mention I sent you though.
I tried to talk to him tonight and he sent some hag of nun out with a yard stick to run me off.

If you got nothing better to do, send a memo off to a democratic congressman or senator. Tell em to do what we elected them to do, support our troops, get them out of George Bush's mistake before anyone else gets killed.
While your at it, tell em not to approve one cent to Africa to fight malaria until every American has affordable health insurance!!
I approve of this message.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I do the same things with my boobs, only I hold a thing of mace for any asshole who wants to piss me off.

  3. Let me see, Boobs, Miller and just a hint of mace.
    Pass the pepper spray, taze me, and we'll call it a night!!